Suffering
August 15, 2006
Khartoum, Beatles Restaurant and Café
Suffering.
While tragedies unfold in various parts of the world what does one do? It would seem that giving everything to the poor is futile without a change of one’s own heart. If I drain my bank account into the lives of others what will I accomplish? It seems that giving financially to those in need is not sustainable. And what is material wealth really worth anyway? Have I really helped someone by filling their life with all the confusion of possessions?
I had the pleasure of spending some time with Abdul Hamid, an employee in the education sector of Samaritan’s Purse here in Sudan. I went to his house, a modest, crudely built place with a few rooms and dirt floors. As I arrived I swung open the makeshift gate, which was constructed of sticks and corrugated iron roofing, and there, playing in the dirt were his four children. Smiles burst from their faces as their father opened his arms to embrace them. He had only been gone for a few hours yet the joy of his return seemed unprecedented to me. I don’t know if I have ever seen children so happy to see their father. His wife called to him from inside one of the rooms and when she heard his voice she came out, her eyes wide and her smile bright. A family that functions is happiness. Loved ones surrounding you, that is joy.
Appreciation…is that the appropriate response to other people’s problems? Appreciation for my own situation? Appreciation for the blessings that have fallen in front of me seems to be a difficult thing to do. While reading articles in magazines or watching documentaries on the BBC I find myself aching inside for the suffering of those around. Then I put the magazine down or turn the TV off and enjoy a $4 cup of coffee. What is wrong with an expensive cup of coffee, luxurious clothes or a big house in the suburbs with a two-car garage? I suppose nothing…intrinsically. It is the attitude I carry with me that I find sickening. When I can’t enjoy certain luxuries I act in a manner similar to someone who has just had their village burned, daughter raped or husband murdered. I find myself creating a lifestyle around me that is so cosmetic and fake that when I am faced with a real tragedy, such as what I have seen here in Darfur, I can’t accept the reality of it. I have no way of relating to the suffering experienced by the Sudanese people that I have worked with. Right now the biggest problem in my life is cavity developing in one of my molars. Life is good if the only pain I feel is when I drink cold sodas too quickly.
Obviously I cannot change the whole world on my own yet it would be foolish to deny that I do have an effect on others, other individuals, in my daily actions. And probably more obvious is the fact that others shape me in return. Just as Abdul Hamid and his family have shown me a glimpse what wealth truly is, so can those who are in need physically show those who have everything what it is to be wealthy. So what now? If wealth isn't in possession should we walk away from Darfur? No. Rather we should realize that the aid, the relief, or simply the help that we give is not soley comprised of what we give physically, but the relationships we build along the way.
Khartoum, Beatles Restaurant and Café
Suffering.
While tragedies unfold in various parts of the world what does one do? It would seem that giving everything to the poor is futile without a change of one’s own heart. If I drain my bank account into the lives of others what will I accomplish? It seems that giving financially to those in need is not sustainable. And what is material wealth really worth anyway? Have I really helped someone by filling their life with all the confusion of possessions?
I had the pleasure of spending some time with Abdul Hamid, an employee in the education sector of Samaritan’s Purse here in Sudan. I went to his house, a modest, crudely built place with a few rooms and dirt floors. As I arrived I swung open the makeshift gate, which was constructed of sticks and corrugated iron roofing, and there, playing in the dirt were his four children. Smiles burst from their faces as their father opened his arms to embrace them. He had only been gone for a few hours yet the joy of his return seemed unprecedented to me. I don’t know if I have ever seen children so happy to see their father. His wife called to him from inside one of the rooms and when she heard his voice she came out, her eyes wide and her smile bright. A family that functions is happiness. Loved ones surrounding you, that is joy.
Appreciation…is that the appropriate response to other people’s problems? Appreciation for my own situation? Appreciation for the blessings that have fallen in front of me seems to be a difficult thing to do. While reading articles in magazines or watching documentaries on the BBC I find myself aching inside for the suffering of those around. Then I put the magazine down or turn the TV off and enjoy a $4 cup of coffee. What is wrong with an expensive cup of coffee, luxurious clothes or a big house in the suburbs with a two-car garage? I suppose nothing…intrinsically. It is the attitude I carry with me that I find sickening. When I can’t enjoy certain luxuries I act in a manner similar to someone who has just had their village burned, daughter raped or husband murdered. I find myself creating a lifestyle around me that is so cosmetic and fake that when I am faced with a real tragedy, such as what I have seen here in Darfur, I can’t accept the reality of it. I have no way of relating to the suffering experienced by the Sudanese people that I have worked with. Right now the biggest problem in my life is cavity developing in one of my molars. Life is good if the only pain I feel is when I drink cold sodas too quickly.
Obviously I cannot change the whole world on my own yet it would be foolish to deny that I do have an effect on others, other individuals, in my daily actions. And probably more obvious is the fact that others shape me in return. Just as Abdul Hamid and his family have shown me a glimpse what wealth truly is, so can those who are in need physically show those who have everything what it is to be wealthy. So what now? If wealth isn't in possession should we walk away from Darfur? No. Rather we should realize that the aid, the relief, or simply the help that we give is not soley comprised of what we give physically, but the relationships we build along the way.
Good post. I've been feeling like I'm missing out on that kind of joy, that kind of passion for life. I don't know why exactly. I'm considering leaving WQ and living at a monastery for a while.
Posted by
Anonymous |
2:26 AM
We can't walk away from Darfur becuase our aim shouldn't be to relieve the material sufferings of people, but to aid in offering the kind of life that allows peace, smiles, joy, enjoyment of family and a shamba and a full stomach. (And of course, Christ in those things) And if that takes the form of handing out aid and material things and worrying about nothing but physical needs until (hopefully) life is liveable again, and people can stay at home without fear of being burned in their sleep, or raped on their way to draw water...then that's a different sort of "throwing money into a hole" becuase the hope is that the hole will go away sometime. Aid work is depressing when it just feels like a bandaid on a landmine wound...but if the bandaid can just keep the person from dying until hopefully hopefully, praying until the tears can't come any faster...the landmine wound is healed by God and the person can find joy in life again...that's a good thing.
And as for our own material wants in our own western world...you're right, a $4 cup of coffee isn't intrinsically bad. But is it the best we can do with God's money? Becuase it is...after all, all God's money...right? And when my parents houseworker has a hard time coming up with schoolfees, it seems like a really bad use of $4.
Really good post. I hope you're not getting depressed...how long are you contracted for? How's your family?
Posted by
tskd |
11:52 PM
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